I'm ashamed, all right: I'm Brown, the color of dirt. And… stink. Can't you help me? Do you think that mud is that filthy and mucky when you play with it? And manure is brown, but do you know how it's called in Latin? Laetamen, which means happiness, and wealth, ha! I'm not kidding you: I'm a well-read color, I even know Latin!

And then, what is chestnut, beside a shade of Brown? The name of that shiny, round fruit, within its prickly husk, that you like so much roasted, don't you, with its cheerful autumn scent. And even if it's just horse-chestnuts, didn't you ever put one in your pocket, against cold, or back-pain, or just for good luck?

Look how many animals choose my hues: they feel safe, and, I think, stylish too, because I'm so much at home in the world of fashion. Just think of the poor mink: no luck with brown, there! Not only do they make mink coats, but mink oil too, and no: I'm not kidding! Try me, for shiny hair… if you dare!

Sure, you won't find me on high, at least not in the natural way of things. But at ground level, I rule together with Green, who knows how to give me my due: we make jujube fruits together! And tree-trunks, and the tastiest mushrooms, the penny buns you search amongst the moist fallen leaves.

Your well-done steak, (healthier than rare, if you ask me), is brown, isn't it? And so is your jacket potato. "So, what's knew, it grows underground", I hear. Aw, come on!

And yet, there must be a way, because I really don't want to come out with p… to put it under your noses, I mean, much less in your mouth!

"You ninny! What about theobroma?"

"Thin broom?"

"No, not thin broom! Theobroma!"

"Right, Green, my friend: you tell me!"

"Cocoa. Rings any bells?"

"And what does it have to do with… thin brooms?"

"Theobroma, I said: Gods' food!"

"Ah, yes, but Mayan Gods, and even more Aztec Gods, nothing to do with your ancient Greeks, buddy. Can't you speak plain English? And don't shout at me, I get it!"

"And so, my dearest friends, here is ready for you, Chocolate!"